Musings Of The Inertia Free

So I was late with October (really late), my bad. Since November is another monster, I got it done early. The Myans warned us! Humbug! Sparkly vampires! Right, let's move on.


1. 2012 – Nov 13. Let me be clear: I am a HUGE fan of disaster porn, and this looks like the be-all, end-all for the genre. Sure, it's Roland Emmerich, who made The Day After Tomorrow, which had Jake Gyllenhaal running from COLD, but this looks like a monster. All the technological advancements of visual effects have brought us to the point where you can make a photorealistic depiction of the end of the world. Plot? Character development? Just give us enough to keep the mayhem going. And hey, it's John Cusack! And Woody Harrelson! Hopefully there will be some level of humor amongst the graphic depiction of the deaths of millions. Wow, that sounds wrong. I expect the same chills I got from watching Independence Day all those years ago, but with much better visuals. No IMAX release, but hopefully it'll be in ETX at the AMC for maximum impact.
2. THE FANTASTIC MR. FOX – Nov 20 (wider). Wes Anderson's films have always had an animated style to them, especially The Life Aquatic, and now he's committed himself fully. It's all stop motion animation, with no digital effects at all, an impressive feat in today's CG happy environment. The classic tale is brought to life with the voices of George Clooney, Bill Murray, and even Meryl Streep. No question it'll look fantastic, and should make for some great entertainment.
3. THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS – Nov 6. Hey look, George Clooney! This screened to rave reviews at TIFF this year. Based on the true story of a military study to harness the power of the mind as a killing machine. Should be pretty goofy fun. Hey look, Ewan McGregor!
4. THE ROAD – Nov 25. A depressing book is made into a depressing movie, but dammit, it's Viggo Mortenson in a super-realistic post apocalyptic journey. Not exactly uplifting entertainment, but it should be compelling stuff.
5. BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL: NEW ORLEANS – Nov 20. Man, that's a title. It's a remake of the infamous Harvey Keitel film with Nic Cage, which immediately terrified everyone who loved the original, but it's directed by the legendary Wernor Herzog. This should be completely insane. I don't think it'll be getting a wide release (they’ve already announced the video release for February), but it should be worth seeking out.
6. NINJA ASSASSIN – Nov 25. A live action version of an older anime directed by James McTeague (V For Vendetta). I figure it'll have some cool fight scenes and strong atmosphere, but not much plot. I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised, and it's been a while since I've seen throwing stars in a movie. Ah, the 80s.
7. PLANET 51 – Nov 20. Finally, a movie where the human is the alien. An astronaut (Dwayne Johnson) is marooned on a hostile planet. Did I mention it's a cute animated film? Ohh, now you're disappointed. Or more interested, I'm not sure. It does look pretty funny, and it's also got Gary Oldman and John Cleese. It is odd seeing (hearing?) the Rock play a white dude though.
8. PIRATE RADIO – Nov 13. Released internationally as The Boat That Rocked, it's a british film about a ship that broadcasted rock music off the coast of england in the sixties, and the goverment's attempts to shut it down. Interesting piece of history with the always great Philip Seymour Hoffman in the lead, and nearly every british actor on earth in many, many roles, including Roy from The IT Crowd and Nick Frost from Shaun Of The Dead!
9. A CHRISTMAS CAROL – Nov 6, IMAX 3D & RealD 3D. I love Jim Carrey, but I'm just not sold on telling the simple tale of Ebenezer Scrooge in mocap 3D a la The Polar Express. On one level, it allows Carrey to play all four main roles in the film (Gary Oldman plays Cratchit, Marley, and Tiny Tim!), but he probably could have pulled it off just as well with makeup. I'm sure the 3D will be impressive, but again, it just seems like overkill.
10. THE BOX – Nov 6. Richard Kelly, director of Donnie Darko, takes another kick at the can, retelling the classic Twilight Zone tale and stretching it out to feature length. You remember the episode, where a couple is given a button and told if they press it, they'll get $25,000, but someone they don't know will die. What was a simple moral dilemma told in a dingy apartment is now a big thriller with Cameron Diaz. If you never saw the original version, you'll probably get a lot more mileage from this.
11. PRECIOUS – Nov 6 (limited), Nov 23 (wider). This is low on my list, but it won the audience award at TIFF. It's an urban drama about a poor pregnant teen trying to make something of her life. For the record, the full title is PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE NOVEL PUSH BY SAPPHIRE. I think they changed it when the action film PUSH came out earlier this year, and they didn’t want people to confuse Chris Evans with a large pregnant woman. Yeah, that would have been tough. Regardless, I’m sure it’s a good film, I’m just not big on urban dramas.
12. TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON – Nov 20. So, yeah. No, it’s not at the bottom, because it might actually be decent, or decently bad, or... whatever, there’s some cute girls here at least. I’m sure not going to sway anyone one way or the other on the matter. I think this one will open big, but the audience will shrink for the third and subsequent films.
13. THE FOURTH KIND – Nov 6. Milla Jovovich is investigating alien abductees in Alaska, only to become part of the terrible secret of space! They’re trying to convince people that it’s based on a true story, but it’s all poppycock. It’s also not getting good advance reviews, so it’s low on the list.
14. THE BLIND SIDE – Nov 20. I doubt that a high school football tale will play well north of the Mason/Dixon line, even with Sandra Bullock in the lead. She’s a pampered mom who takes pity on a large homeless teen with a troubled past and makes him play football, and he eventually ends up in the NFL. True story. More feel-good crowd pleasing white guilt. Some early reviews are actually positive, so I might be off base on this, but I’m sticking to my guns for now. Still looks better than ALL ABOUT STEVE. *shudder*
15. OLD DOGS – Nov 25. Robin Williams and John Travolta. One’s a womanizer, the other is a pathetic shell of a man. They somehow end up taking care of seven year old twins. Wackiness ensues! People get hit in the balls! Good actors work for a paycheck! Dumb audiences laugh! Disney makes money! Everyone dies a little inside!

So there’s some epics, and some probable epic fails. Here’s hoping for pleasant surprises. December’s got a nice mix of big guns and Oscar bids, should be a good one.

Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: 80s Internet Radio - Outfield - Lose Your Love

Well, it took six months, but I'm finally employed again! I've got a six month contract with Rotman School Of Management, part of U of T. It's an interesting position, I'll be assisting in their Executive Programs, where they make custom educational programs for corporate clients. It's a great working environment, and it's right at College & University. It's largely 9 to 5, which gives me time to do writing in my spare time, something that's been sadly neglected recently. Also, monies are good. I liek monies.

It all came together pretty quickly. Miriam told me about the position, I submitted my resume, got an interview a few days later, and whammo. Didn't want to talk about it much until I was actually starting, since I was afraid I was getting Punk'd or something the way things have been going. I'm feeling good about it, and having a salary will definitely make me feel more human.

Everything's coming up Milhouse! Err, Andrew!

Current Mood: relieved

Well, this is one late October preview, innit? Not that there's been much to crow about, but here's the month's releases, including all the films already released. All of them are still in theatres, so you can still use this handy-dandy guide for the rest of the month. Remember, Cineplex is offering half-price Tuesdays now, where you get a ticket, small popcorn and small pop for half price. It's like getting the combo for free, and you can upsize for a buck. First good deal they've offered in a while.

1.WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE- Oct 16, IMAX. Spike Jonze brings the beloved children's book to life, and it's not just a kid's film. It looks like an honest-to-god work of art, a real classic look at a boy on the cusp of leaving childhood, with some great performances and special effects. It's also an IMAX DMR presentation, for some added impact, but I don't think it's absolutely necessary to enjoy it.
2.ZOMBIELAND – Oct 2. Nothing like a good zombie comedy. It's short, but doesn't let up. It's not about the zombies, just zombie killin', and keeping your humanity when there's not many people left. It's doing very well, and the filmmakers already have an idea for a sequel, so expect a followup two years from now.
3.A SERIOUS MAN – Oct 16. Ahh, the Coen brothers. Even their failures make for compelling viewing, but this looks like a strong contribution to their oeuvre. No chance of commercial success because of its extreme focus on Jewish cultrue, but it's getting solid reviews for its compelling tale of a man on the edge. Even the trailer is a work of art.
4.ASTRO BOY – Oct 23, 3D. I'm looking forward to this, it looks like a great update to the orignal story with great visuals that still respect Otomo's original designs. Expect some great 3D bits as Astro flies through cool futuristic cities, whuppin' giant robot butt.
5.PARANORMAL ACTIVITY – Oct 16. This one's already a phenomenon. Micro budget, great thrills, minimal shaky cam! Just a really freaky ghost story shot doc style. Best seen with either a large group of people or by yourself in a dark room.
6.THE INVENTION OF LYING – Oct 2. Ricky Gervais is one funny guy, and this is custom made for his sensibility, It's a society where lying was never developed until one man stumbles upon the concept and becomes a king. Really clever idea, but some complain that the whole thing looks really cheap. Will probably play better at home, honestly. Still looks funny.
7.WHIP IT – Oct 2. Drew Barrymore's directorial debut is about Ellen Page finding a new world when she joins a roller derby league. It's supposed to be a really solid grrl power story but it just can't find an audience.
8.GENTLEMEN BRONCOS - Oct 30. The director of Napoleon Dynamite serves up another odd story about a kid who's sci-fi story is stolen by a failing author, played by Flight Of The Concord's Jermaine Clement. What's really cool is that the story plays out in the film from both author's perspective, and it makes Zardoz look like Blade Runner. Totally crazy world, very original perspective, but if you hated Napoleon, I doubt you'll get this one. Still, yay originality!
9.LAW ABIDING CITIZEN – Oct 16. I might have put this higher if this was on time, but the reviews have been pretty brutal. Gerard Butler's family was murdered, but the killers got light jail time thanks to a lazy prosecutor (Jamie Foxx), so he takes revenge not only on the killers but on the system itself. It's another coulda been that comes off mediocre with a reportedly lame ending. Too bad.
10.TOY STORY 1 & 2 in 3D - Oct 2. You'd think this would be higher, but I think three hours of 3D will probably make my head explode, which bodes well for Avatar. Still, the two films are so good I've practically burned them into my brain, so I skipped this. It's still playing for one more week, if you haven't seen them in a while, it's a good value, since it's a double feature for one ticket.
11.AMELIA – Oct 23. Hilary Swank plays the legendary Amelia Earhart. This has almost no buzz whatsoever, which just can't be good. Mira Nair made Monsoon Wedding and The Namesake, she's a solid director, and it's also starring Richard Gere and Ewan McGregor, but the whole thing smacks of Oscar Syndrome. Hopefully the reviews will be good, but I think it will be met with massive indifference.
12.CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE'S ASSISTANT - Oct 23. Hoo boy. I love me some John C Reilly, but I can't see this being a good film to anyone over 18. Kids might think it's the best thing ever, but it doesn't look like anyone's really trying here. Just another attempt at a new franchise with no heart. I hope I'm wrong.
13.SAW VI - Oct 23. I honestly should put this higher, but I think this one will really hit the wall. I've actually enjoyed the franchise, but I thought there was an end in sight, and with the announcement that VII and VIII will be shot in 3D, I can't imagine this will be anything but more of the same. Which is, of course, just fine.
14.THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS 3D - oct 23. Another re-release. Interesting that they've made this an annual release, and I don't think there's anything new.
15.COUPLES RETREAT – Oct 9. I hate it when talented people get together and make something half-assed. It's pretty obvious these guys wanted to get together and have a working vacation in paradise. If you want something pretty and stupid, it should fit the bill. I expected more from them.
16.MICHAEL JACKSON'S THIS IS IT – Oct 26 (Wednesday). Michael Jackson's farewell performance! They shot the rehersals for his monster London gig with the intention of shooting THAT for a 3D concert film, but hey, I'm sure this footage will be just as good as the real thing, right? Some marketing firm thinks it'll make $250 million, but I think $20 mil for the total run is more realistic. Maybe the rest of the world will care more.
17.THE STEPFATHER – Oct 16. Hooray, another remake of a mediocre horror film. At least the original starred Lost's Terry O'Quinn, this stars a bunch of unremarkable, cheap actors in a demographically dictated bit of corporate filmmaking. Meh, meh, a thousand times meh.
18.BOONDOCK SAINTS 2: ALL SAINTS DAY – Oct 30, limited. Didn't really like the original. I can see how it's got a cult following, but I don't think there's that many people clamoring for a sequel, but wham, there it is. What's a million times more interesting is Overnight, the story of the writer/director Troy Duffy, whose massive ego cost him a career in film. I'm not convinced this will actually get released wide, so expect to see it on DVD very quickly. But hey, it was shot in Hamilton!

October is a little better than September, but some big guns get rolled out next month, including 2012 and A Christmas Carol. Expect that preview on time.

Ensiferum w/ Blackguard, Ex Deo, and Hypocrisy, Dec 1 at Opera House. No idea on pricing, but it should be cheap.

Hmm... is it time to pop my Viking Metal cherry? Are the support acts any good?

Ah, September. Best known as the dumping grounds for films not worthy of a Summer release. Films that could have been good, but thanks to bad scripts, bad casting, bad producing, and/or bad directing, are released thanks to contractual obligation more than a need to make money. September films rarely open over $30 million, and most will gross much less than that overall. And yet, there are no less than 17 wide releases. This month's flicks seem to fall nicely in line with those expectations, with a few glowing exceptions.

1. 9 – Sept 9. Despite the gimmicky release date of 9/9/09, this one looks amazing. In a post-apocalyptic world, humanity's legacy is in the hands of a group of sentient ragdolls (or 'stitchpunks'). It's produced by Tim Burton and presents a world I know I've never seen before, so at least it's original. Sadly, it's a short 75 minutes, but hopefully it's a tight 75. Easily my pick of the month.

2. EXTRACT – Sept 9. Mike Judge takes another shot at cinematic glory after the total abandonment of the criminally undersupported Idiocracy. This one is much more grounded, with Jason Bateman as a frustrated manager of a Vanilla Extract factory. It's much closer in spirit to Office Space, which works fine for me. Ben Affleck seems to be having fun, and Mila Kunis looks phenomenal as usual. Should be a another winner from Mike that will be summarily ignored by the viewing public.

3. THE INFORMANT! – Sept 18. Steven Soderbergh and Matt Damon reteam for a comedic take on corporate whistleblowing. I love me some Soderbergh, and Damon's got great comic chops. Plus, Scott Bakula's getting a paycheck! Yay!

4. PANDORUM – Sept 25. Did you like Event Horizon? Me too! Well, this looks like the heir apparent. Don't let the link to the Resident Evil series scare you, I think this one might just deliver the goods. Of course, it could just as easily fall into the 'crap' category, but darn it, I've got a good feeling about this one. And I've always liked Ben Foster, it'll be nice to see him in the lead for once. I'm calling this one as my long shot for the month.

5. WHITEOUT – Sept 11. Did you like The Thing? Me too! Well, this looks... whoa, deja vu. But there's no question this is channeling Carpenter's classic, but I really doubt it will reach that height. Still, it could deliver some quality thrills, and Kate looks good, even in a parka. But the director is also responsible for Gone In 60 Seconds and Swordfish, so there's that too. Tough call, but I'm hoping he finally delivers.

6. CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS – Sept 18, 3D. The awesome Bill Hader supplies the voice of the main character, which means it's already better than most other films. It looks amusing, and there's plenty of 3D fodder when you've got food falling from the skies, so if you're gonna see it, spring for the 3D version. I initially had this lower, but I just found out the directors also made Clone High, which was a great show taken from us before its time. I hope this brings much of the same style that gem had.

7. JENNIFER'S BODY – Sept 18. Hollywood finally gets to know if Megan Fox can open a film. So far she hasn't had to act, and this is a big step. It's also Diablo Cody's followup to Juno, so two careers are on the line. It could be a great funny/scary horror film, and the trailer suggests as much, but the Fox backlash has begun, and this might be the whipcrack. Here's hoping that the film can withstand the media hype.

8. SURROGATES – Sept 25. Bruce Willis is back, baby! This is a pretty interesting idea, as well it should be, since it's Based On The Graphic Novel! Which means it has to be good! Everyone who's anyone runs around with a remote controlled robot who can't be killed, until they start getting killed. It's a potentially cool take on the immortality idea, but the trailer seems to give away the end of the freakin' movie. The director, Jonathan Mostow, made several serviceable but unspectacular films such as U-571 and Terminator 3, so expect this to be serviceable but unspectacular as well.

9. GAMER – Sept 4. The concept of this film makes my brain hurt. Real life warriors are remotely controlled by teenagers in a Running Man style game show. I would have completely dismissed this film, but it's directed by the duo who made Crank, which was batshit insane but a hell of a lot of fun. I also love Gerard Butler, and Dexter's Michael C. Hall is the villain. So despite what is sure to be a horrible script, they might just pull it off. But I doubt it. Mind you, if there's a scene where a guy teabags his victim, I'll give it an automatic 10.

10. FAME – Sept 25. Fun fact: No one from the TV show became famous. Well, outside of Broadway, at least. Nevertheless, it's Reboot time! I seriously doubt this version will be as gritty as the original film. It looks more like a film version of American Idol, but hey, the director got a "Very Special Thanks" in the Dr. Horrible credits, so there's that. I just hate it when movies make people think they're special. Oh god, I'm so bitter. *snif*

11. CARRIERS – Sept 4. The new Captain Kirk leads a group of survivors of a viral outbreak. Looks like a pretty decent not-zombie film, but the label that made it no longer exists "Paramount Vantage) so it's being dumped prior to a quick DVD release. Still looks like it'll deliver the goods, but I wouldn't really expect to see it on the big screen this weekend. "Actually, on further review, there's no Canadian distribution at all!)

12. SORORITY ROW - Sept 11. Ah, another horror remake. At least they're remaking the not-classics now. This looks a lot more like I Know What You Did Last Summer than anything, but hey, hot girls getting killed! Wait, that sounds bad. Briana Evigan almost made me watch Step Up 2 The Streets. Almost.

13. LOVE HAPPENS – Sept 18. I'm dead inside, so this romance won't really have an impact on me. What I like is that it's a proper romance, NOT a romantic comedy, which is surprising since it's Jennifer Aniston, but Aaron Eckhart is the proper lead here, and he's always good. Regardless, it's still a "Man tries to live again after his wife's death" story. If you've got a pack of Kleenex burning a hole in your pocket, have at.

14. ALL ABOUT STEVE – Sept 4. Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper have each had a monster success this summer "The Proposal and The Hangover, respectively) and yet this one is being dumped into theaters without an ad campaign or any buzz whatsoever. The one clip I saw at the Cineplex pre-show made it look like a sitcom about a twelve year old girl trapped in the body of a forty five year old woman pretending she's twenty five. Bullock is a "free spirit" who becomes obsessed with Cooper's weatherman, but in the end, she shows us all that there's more to life than being sane. If the studio that invested 30 million dollars doesn't want you to see it, don't see it.

15. TYLER PERRY'S I CAN DO BAD ALL BY MYSELF – Sept 11. His ego is so huge that he actually puts his name in the title of his films. Go figure, this film was not made for me, nor was it made for anyone but Tyler Perry fans. More creaky wisdom about giving up your whorish ways, delivered by a man dressed as an old lady. Whose name is in the title.

16. AMERICAN SUMMER/ POOL BOYS – Sept 25. So the producer of American Pie makes a crappy Risky Business rip-off, and uses the same name and title style as his big hit to fool audiences. But I think the good people at Universal shut down that idea, so it's been renamed Pool Boys. The trailer brings a boatload of suck to the table. "Hey, the owners of this mansion are going out of town, let's turn it into a brothel! Since Tom Arnold is our neighbor, it's bound to succeed!" Just a lame sex comedy that's probably sexless. I'm pretty sure this was made to sell to other countries as a big American Comedy, where americans will ignore the CRAP out of it. I really don't expect it to get a wide release, but I just wanted to point it out. Which brings us to...

17. I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL – Sept 25. Douchebag: The Movie. Asshole drags buddies to strip club for bachelor party, wackiness ensues, guy is uninvited to wedding, weasels his way back in. It's actually a celebration of the Bro Mentality. It's currently being screened in colleges across america, I assume they're full of guys high-fiving each other while texting about how awesome it is. If you want to really suffer, check out the web site http://www.ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/ where the creator is blogging about the screenings. I might just set up a screening, Inglourious Basterds style. If you've seen that one, you know what I'm talking about. If you hate women but love to fuck them while secretly longing to screw your broseph, this film is for you!


So yeah, September ain't lookin' so hot, is it? Lots of potentially great films that will probably end up sucking. Here's hoping for some pleasant surprises. Hey, there's always October, right?

Right?

Current Mood: accomplished

Skinny Puppy, The Phoenix, Friday November 13. Tix are $32.50, and go on sale Friday at 10AM.

Just in case any of y'all are still fans.

Well, summer's over, nothing left but the dregs, right? WRONG! There's still some great films to come this month, so here's your hype-oriented breakdown for August. This one is mega-sized, since there's currently no less than NINETEEN releases, so obviously a lot of solid films will fall through the cracks. I hope I can put a few good ones on your radar.
( NINETEEN FREAKIN' MOVIES HERE )

Current Mood: tired

So they revealed the official title for the TRON sequel at Comic Con, TRON: LEGACY. I like this a lot better than TR2N or TRON 2.0. They showed a teaser for the film in 3D, but what was super cool was that they recreated Flynn's Arcade, complete with a working version of Space Paranoids, the game Flynn developed. Later in the night, the lights flickered, and a back room was opened up revealing... well, check out the article on C.H.U.D., because it's way cooler to see it.

EEEEEEEE!

Current Mood: excited

Summer just keeps on a-rollin', and July has some monsters waiting within. Since several films are opening on Wednesday, I figured it's time give you part three of my ongoing heads-up on the month's coming releases.

1. PUBLIC ENEMIES – July 1. Michael Mann (HEAT) has always been one of my favorite directors, and this one looks like another home run. Johnny Depp VS Christian Bale in the gangland-era tale of the capture of John Dillenger, the greatest bank robber who ever lifted a tommy gun. I'll be tittering with glee throughout this one.

2. HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE – July 17, in IMAX 3D July 29. Like I have to tell you about Meesa Pottair. Looks like more quality wizarding, with added teen angst and a major character death! SPOILER ALERT: It's not Harry! Unfortunately, Paramount booked TRANSFORMERS 2 to the IMAX for four weeks before HP7 was bumped to the summer, so the IMAX 3D version won't start until July 29. Which could suck, but it will make for a much more satisfying second viewing.

3. FUNNY PEOPLE – July 31. The latest from Judd Apatow (40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN, KNOCKED UP) has Adam Sandler as a dying comic who befriends up-and-comer Seth Rogen as he deals with his life. It's tough to nail a comedy with heart, but Apatow is one of the best comic minds working today, and everyone's bringing their A game.

4. BRUNO – July 10. BORAT made you uncomfortable about foreigners, BRUNO will make you uncomfortable with both foreigners and homosexuals. Sasha Baron Cohen is proving to be a comic genius, and advance word says this one's just as good as BORAT. Expect to wince as much as you laugh.

5. (500) DAYS OF SUMMER – July 17. Great date movie material with Joseph Gordon Levitt (BRICK) and Zooey Deschanel (ELF). Two great young actors in what the trailer promises is not a love story, but it sure looks like one, and a smart one at that. I missed an advance screening, but this could be this year's JUNO.

6. ICE AGE: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS – July 1, 3D. I enjoyed the first ICE AGE a lot more than the second, so I'm pretty wary about the third one. The gang stumble on the land of the lost, where dinosaurs still live. Do you need more plot than that? The 3D should be good, but I hope they don't just rest on the audience's love of the characters and act goofy for 94 minutes. Early word jumps between "Awesome!" and "Garbage!" so we'll have to see.

7. ORPHAN – July 24. We're at the borderline here, since this one could be good, but it might be just another crappy OMEN knock-off. A bereaved couple adopts a nine year old girl who isn't as sweet as she seems. It's your only horror fix this month, so check out the trailer. If initial word is good, I'll check it out.

8. I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER – July 10. This is clearly trying to be this year's SUPERBAD, but the trailer left a bad taste in my mouth. Worst case, you can indulge your Hayden Panettiere fantasies for two hours, and Chris Colombus (HOME ALONE, HARRY POTTER 1&2) directed it, so it might turn out better than it looks. But it seems like it's targeting a young audience at the expense of older folks.

9. G-FORCE – July 24, 3D. The trailer for this was shown in 3D before UP, and it looks pretty dumb. Nice 3D effects, but I seriously doubt it will satisfy beyond that. It's a live-action film with a team of Guinea Pig super spies whose unit is shut down, forcing them to live in a pet store. Or something. There were five fart/poop jokes in the trailer alone, as opposed to the one really well done one in UP, so that's a pretty good indicator of the intelligence level involved. Just another stupid but pretty kid's movie, but with cute animals.

10. THE UGLY TRUTH – July 24. The big studio romantic comedy for the month, and it looks cloying. Gerard Butler (300) is a jock asshat TV personality assigned to work with Katherine Heigl (KNOCKED UP). He teaches her about what men want, she teaches him that he's not all that, and middle america gets what it wants. Both characters are annoying, and the only way this should end is with both of them left sad, alone, and bitter. But it won't.

11. ALIENS IN THE ATTIC – July 31. High concept garbage. Short, wacky, evil aliens take over a dysfunctional family's garage, forcing them to work together to save the earth. Go ahead, watch the trailer. I'll wait. Doesn't it make you want to never watch a movie again? But hey, it's family entertainment!

So there's still a few gems there in July, with more to come in August. After that, no films will be released until next April. That's just how it works.

Current Mood: amused

Hey, if anyone out there is aware of a job that I'd be perfect for, I'm available immediately. Drop me a line at batphantom@yahoo.com if you know of anything. Thanks!

Current Mood: hopeful

With the “summer” movie season fully underway, I figured I'd share some quick reviews from the more recent blast of films, including two new releases.
( Many Reviews Be Here )
Next up is, well, UP in 3D at the AMC. The listings don't show it in 3D, but I'm assured that it is being presented as such, as well as in normal 2D. Word is it's another Pixar masterpiece.

Current Mood: accomplished

A fair number of people seemed to enjoy my May movie list, so I decided to jump on June a little early. Lots of comedies this month, but still plenty of big-screen action too. Let's get started.
( Here Be Previews! )

Current Mood: excited

So, there's a few hypernerd things I should make y'all aware of regarding Star Trek. First, it's not in IMAX at the Scotiabank, which sucks. It's at the Colossus and Coliseum, but both of those are smaller IMAX screens, and not worth going that far out. If you can, give'r.

Now, what's interesting is that the AMC Yonge/Dundas has a few screens for it, but one uses something they call "Enhanced Theatre Experience." From the site, " ETX features a 20% larger floor-to-ceiling screen, 11-channel surround sound with 57,000 watts of power, and 8.8 million pixels providing 4X the resolution of HD." Based on a little more research, AMC bought some 4K projectors as opposed to the 2K ones most digital theatres use. It's a $2 premium tho. I'll be partaking of this in lieu of my beloved IMAX. I know wattage isn't everything for sound, but that's considerably more than the IMAX uses. If you wish to do the same, the weekend shows are at 10:20am,  1:20pm, 4:20pm, 7:20pm, and 10:20pm. The other showtimes are the normal digital version, which is, of course, just fine. Not sure when we'll be seeing it, but rest assured, it'll be this weekend, and it'll be in ETX.

Current Mood: excited

Summer's here! Summer's here! Well, not really, but summer movie season is officially upon us this coming weekend, and with everyone's money woes, I thought I'd do the world a favor and help you plan your moviegoing budget for the coming months.For now, I'm going to deal with May's releases, with June, July & August to come later. I'm basing my suggestions on several factors such as who's involved, early reviews, and of course, gut feelings.

( Andrew's May Movie Preview! )

Current Mood: anxious

If anyone out there was thinking of securing a Wii and/or Wii Fit, there's plenty in stock at the Toys R Us at Dufferin Mall. Just scored one for a friend.

Current Mood: surprised

I know you're awesome, and thanks for releasing season 3 on blu-ray next year, but I can't take any more awesomeness. And then you reveal the packaging for the new season.




Just... stop it. You're killing me.

Current Mood: awestruck

So, if you go to Wired.com right now (who knows when it'll update) you'll see a picture of MY BROTHER on the front page. If it's not at the top when you check, it's the story named "Wikipedia Blocks British Editors Amid Censorship Flap". He's not really sure why they used his pic, but that's what happens when you're the spokesman for Wikipedia.

Current Mood: surprised

Here's a little somethin' somethin' for the metal fans out there. Merry Metal Xmas.

Austrian Death Machine - A Very Brutal Christmas

Jingle Bells, Hell Bent For Leather, and GET TO THA CHOPPA! So, just a stocking stuffer as opposed to a giant present, but hey, they covered Priest!

Current Mood: metal

So today was my Hell Day, where I teach 9-2, then work 3-11. It's a long day. I walk up Brock St, where I can either catch the Dundas Streetcar, or walk a little farther north and take the College streetcar, which runs a little more frequently. Both are blind corners walking up to the street, so I can't see the streetcar coming. Today, I managed to miss BOTH by seconds. SECONDS! Literally, had I been three seconds earlier at either corner, I would have caught one. I ended up waiting another fifteen minutes when all I wanted to do was be home trying to wind down before bed. Shitty timing.

But then, during my nightly three hour internet scouring, I found this beautiful, beautiful nugget. It's the recording from Britney Spears' live mic from her recent concert film, which of course, isn't shared with the paying customers. Now, I always knew that you can't sing and dance at the same time, and WOW, does she prove it. You've got to check it out.

So I feel a little better now.

Current Mood: amused

Hey, if you're still up, you could always catch the THREE A.M. Dark Knight IMAX showing. Imagine coming out of the theatre only to be greeted by THE DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT.

Or, if you're unemployed or a shift worker, tickets are still available for the 8:30AM show. Rest of the day is gonzo.

I'm pretty sure I can wait until, oh, Monday.

Current Mood: tired